Tag Archives: memory

Dementia and Paranoid Delusions

Over the past three years and nine months, my mother has had a few paranoid delusions. This is common in people with dementia, but I wondered what caused it.

Mom’s Paranoid Delusions

When Mom was in the hospital after her accident, she was very frightened by the hospital staff. The first time staff moved her from her bed to a chair so that she could eat dinner and they could change her bedding, she thought that the chair would tip her down a chute to the basement where she would be murdered. She begged me not to leave her alone “with these people.”

Mom has an intermittent delusion that the TV is a window through which people stare at her. This paranoid delusion also first appeared the night I spent with her at the hospital. It resurfaced when we moved her to a care home where she was exposed to daily TV after almost three years of not ever watching it. She frequently asked me why “those people” were staring in at her.  How rude!  Mom got very agitated. She even worried about me when I left because “those people” were still outside.  Although Mom has largely adjusted to the concept of TV, she will still at times express irritation that the people on TV are staring at her.

My mother also thought that my husband and I were going to kill her. That was a fun one. One day when we were returning Mom to her care home after a visit with us, I overheard her muttering in the car, “These two people coming to get me, coming to kill me.”  Now, if I had heard this during the 7 1/2 hour trip bringing her down from Livermore, I would have disputed it as a delusion because we really were just about ready to kill her. It’s not paranoia if it’s true, right? However, by this point we were long over our stress and not about to do her in. Yet at least briefly, my mother viewed us as strangers who planned to kill her.

What is it about dementia that dredges up the primal fear that others have ill intent and even mean to kill you?

Why Do Dementia and Paranoid Delusions Coexist?

Mom’s main caregiver told me that almost all of the residents with dementia in their four homes are on or have been on anti-anxiety meds. I can understand that. When you don’t know where you are or what happened 15 minutes ago, when you don’t remember you have a bedroom, when you are totally dependent on others, of course that is going to produce anxiety.

Are the paranoid delusions the extreme product of this anxiety?  Are people who have suffered from anxiety prior to dementia more apt to have paranoid delusions?

I was very curious to know and started reading articles on dementia and paranoid delusions.

Dementia and Paranoia

I found many articles about how to cope with paranoid delusions in dementia patients, but little about what caused it. In the article “Understanding Paranoia and Delusions and Some Coping Strategies,” The Alzheimer Society in Cornwall, Ontario, Canada states “that the person with dementia often feels that they have little control over their life and little insight into what is happening around them. It is often easier to blame someone else such as the caregiver for events that they do not understand.”*

Blame didn’t really seem to me to be the problem, except in regard to missing objects.  Fear did.

The article went on to attribute paranoia to misinterpretations of what the dementia sufferer sees and hears due to memory loss and visual spatial problems. Basically, “changes in the brain” was the cause.*

Well, yeah, but I still wanted to know why exactly cognitive dysfunction led to fear.  I got nowhere.

Walk in Their Shoes

In one or two posts I have likened an adult with dementia to a toddler. The need for reassurance, explanations, help with communication, and care-taking are the same.

Maybe you don’t remember what it was like being a young child. There was a lot of fear—fear of loud noises, of the dark, of being alone, of strangers, of dogs. The thin line between reality and fantasy led to fear of monsters under the bed, unknown terror in the hallway, and a host of other threats. And you knew instinctively that you were powerless and defenseless.

So consider people with dementia. They don’t know where they are or who they are with. Even if they have a roommate, they forget that they do and feel alone at night. Loud or “strange” noises (the dishwasher, the vacuum cleaner, staff clattering in the kitchen) cause them to startle. They can’t remember the other residents. The staff is more recognizable, but not completely, especially if it rotates. Who is this person dressing me, taking me to the bathroom, bathing me? Do I have a home? Where is my home? How long will I be here? Am I sleeping here tonight? Do they have a bathroom here?

Shake in Their Shoes

All this not knowing is frightening. I think people with dementia have the fears of a young child, but lack the remedy of climbing onto Mother’s lap for protection or having Dad show them there is no monster under the bed and then leaving a nightlight on and the door open.

The next time a child hears the vacuum cleaner, he can remember that Mom explained she uses it to clean. The noise still startles him, and he doesn’t like it, but at least he learns what it is. My mom asks me every single day what the noise is when the dishwasher is going or staff is preparing a meal. She does not remember. She does not learn.

You have to have memory to learn.

If a noise is that concerning, imagine how it is when you can’t learn where you are or who is there with you, or if anyone is there with you.  It is like waking up with amnesia every moment of your life.  Amnesia and something akin to paralysis if you are no longer ambulatory.  You are completely vulnerable–powerless and defenseless.  You can’t even run away.

It might make an interesting movie, but it is a hell of a life to be living.  No wonder they are afraid and expecting danger everywhere.

*Note:   (To read the entire article, click here to reach The Alzheimer Society and then search for ‘Paranoia and Delusions.’)

Related Posts

My post “Inconsistent Memory vs. Nightly Rituals” describes the frustration of trying to orient someone with dementia to their environment. It also expands on the TV delusion. To read it, click here.
For a look at the scary delusions and hallucinations someone can have at a hospital, click here to read “Irrational Desires and Hospital Nightmares.”
“Mom Stopped Peeing on Me. Thanks, Care Home” describes how I dealt with Mom’s delusion that I was going to kill her.  Click here to read that post.
To understand why I felt on the verge of throttling Mom, click here to read “Meeting Financial Challenges,” especially the section regarding the trip.
Click here  to read “Dealing with Delusions and Memory Loss” for more about delusions.

 

Upside of Dementia, III: Preserving Family History

When a parent has dementia, preserving family history almost seems to slip away before your eyes.  This is the time to talk to your loved one about whatever they can remember, which will most likely be their childhood.  It is also the time to reach out to extended family for more recent information.

Mom asks me questions about her family because she doesn’t remember much beyond the childhood and young adult stages of her life. Most of the time I can fill her in, but sometimes I can’t.

One of her brothers settled in Africa, married, and had two children. I know my cousins’ names, and that is all. We’ve never met them. I don’t know if they still live in Zambia or if their mother, who was from Yugoslavia, is still alive. Their father, my uncle, died years ago.

Preserving family history is a precious undertaking, and certainly at least knowing about remote relatives is important even if there is little likelihood of ever meeting them. I have tried searching for my cousins on Google without success. Mom’s questions as well as my own spurred me to reach out to my remaining uncle who lives in England for whatever information he has. This has led to finding out my cousins left Zambia and moved to South Africa decades ago.  Their mother is still alive.  I now have information about employment, marital status, and current names.  This is a huge help which will allow me to find out even more.  A few more years, and this information would no longer be available to me.  Carpe diem!  Seize the day!

Much like having aging parents makes gathering family history pressing, so does dementia when it strikes at any age. There is little opportunity left to find out information, so reaching out to other relatives is a vital resource. I urge you to do it. Now.

Click here to read Upside of Dementia, I: New Relationships.

Click here to read Upside of Dementia, II: Conversation.